Today was a good day. | fourleggedfreak's Blog

Can't control the wind? Try shaking some branches.

I have taken some extra care lately to really get in touch with my inner self, to shed all my superficial impressions and wants and needs and just get to the core of who I really am underneath all that stuff. And surprise! Suddenly the way is clear.

So the plan was this: ditch my stupid $8-an-hour job I have now, start some house-cleaning that would make me twice as much, and go to college. Just hop right on top of that college stuff (cause I'm getting on 25 and it's about time.) What changed.... at the last minute?

When I was a kid I was giving my friends shoulder rubs, and they told me I should do it for a living some day.
There was that time a couple years ago where two different psychics told me I have "healing hands" and will work in "a medical field." I wasn't seeing that happening... at all. And then I started working around massage therapists, and one of them told me he only went to school for a year! Just one year! And then you can start working.

I looked into it, but I decided in the end I'd rather go to academic college. I want to learn stuff! About stuff!

So the plan was: get a cleaning job and go to college. But I was talking with a good friend of mine just a few days ago. She is also in housekeeping. And it occurred to me that one of my main issues with massage is it is so hard on the body---but housekeeping is labor-intensive!!!! So if I'm going to be busting tail just to make $15 an hour... I might as well do something I'll REALLY enjoy, something that is meaningful to me, and make as much or more. What was I thinking?

Looks like I'm stuck with this stupid $8 job for a while. It'll take at least 6 months to go through school starting in April, and possibly a few more months to get my license and stuff. But ... you know it's not the big shiny lights I used to dream about... but it's meaningful. It's deeper than that stuff. So much deeper. So much more important. At some point I realized the shiny lights stuff was just... not just a pipe dream... a SELFISH dream that had to do with childhood insecurity, and the naive belief that if someone else did it, I could do it just as good. I'm NOT that person. I'm THIS person. I've always been very spiritual and humanitarian. I don't know why performance arts call to me so much, why I have this taste for fame, but maybe it's just a thing we all have. Fame, power, money. It's a strong draw. But when it came down to actually acting on that dream, it just felt too selfish. I want to contribute something. I want to help people

I think this is right for me. I am interested to know where this new path will take me. Lots of places I can go from here... we will see what happens!!!!!!

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Previous Posts
A moment: now, posted June 28th, 2013
Today was a good day., posted February 3rd, 2013
Another late-night post, posted October 10th, 2012
Facing stars... and hopes and dreams... and the future, posted October 9th, 2012
Hi world, posted May 31st, 2007, 2 comments
Two people, posted May 31st, 2007

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